26 January 2014

Awkward.

I’m not good at telling stories, once when I was very abruptly asked by the lecturer to narrate the story of a movie I had watched, I politely declined, citing I didn’t remember it. I could vision my nose growing longer. I knew better how I could’ve killed it for everyone, an Academy awardee that too. Let’s look at the brighter side of it. Editing is my skill that doesn’t come to use when you got to narrate. That's because, characteristics emoted in the movies deter my verbal process of narration. 

So here I am, attempting at what I never do best- telling you a sitcom story, called AWKWARD.

I must admit, as much as I thought I could draw parallels to the show’s protagonist who’s incidentally a blogger by choice scriptwriters, I realized... we aren’t so similar, for instance when I was 15 I was singing in the assembly choir or working, rather than making out with 2 people and then calling your life awkward. The show is mostly about Jenna (protagonist) having a soliloquy. Wonder if she’s only paid for making these gazillion annoying eyebrow gestures as she ponders more than she speaks. Yup, drawing parallels here.

Ok, we got it, the director wants to portray her as the average girl (for the sake of TV eye candy, but of course she can’t dress like one). That aside, she is dating this school hottie- Matty, on the hide. The scriptwriters have got it mixed up; Matty is more awkward than Jenna. His idiosyncratic sniffing of his under arms before approaching any girl, not exactly is the attribute of the supposed ‘hottie’ he has to portray!

Soon, she realizes she can’t deal with him not going out in public with her, so she gives him the ultimatum, but like every love story, he’s late (late, even when texting, or calling up is just a logical, click away) and she decides to move on. 

Moving on is ok, but with whom? Matty’s bestfriend Jake, she calls this another ‘awkward story’ Funny how MTV thinks that’s awkward, when for normal people that’s just downright conniving. I stopped watching when both the naïve bestfriends still fell for her, friendship at stake. Fortunately for me- no parallels here.

This brings me to awkward reality:

  • When the ex-CEO of a fortune top 5 company, courteously waves to acknowledge your presence even while he doesn’t know your name. Delightfully awkward.

  • Hugging in the name of social obligation and making an accidental “mirror” hug with the opposite sex. Painfully awkward.

  • Progressing to ride the world’s fastest rollercoaster without ever having sat in one. Awkward soon turns to regrettable.

  • Your slipping tongue tells the attendant that you don’t want them too ‘hot’ when you meant to say, you didn’t want them too 'short'. This. After the attendant enquired if you were looking for a pair of “hot shorts”. Consciously avoiding the store ever since.

  • Realizing one’s audacity to dish out relationship advice while staying single.

  • Being asked “which school you are in” at the US consulate and that being made public through a speaker system. Not at all awkward if you were asked the same only 7 yrs back, when you were last in school.

  • When a grammar impoverished person takes offense at the literal meaning after having asked him “So you’re going back for good?”

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